Save the Crash..

There are many things in life we need to learn to save and respect in time. Save the crash is when you realise that you could’ve saved somethings truly worth before they turn into a crash. 

He opened his eyes to a blur. He could see shattered glass pieces lying around his face. A wrecked car at a distance, a few pair of feet running towards him. Car horns, people shouting, chaos around him. Amongst all this, all he could see was some colours and hear some voices in his head which were slowly more audible. He could hear them fight, he could hear her cry. He could now hear only her voice clearly, shouting at him, but still her voice calmed him. Lying down right there he only wished to hear her shout, cry, scold anything. He always knew he wanted her back. The blood flowing from his forehead now entered his eyes, some figures in red nearing him. His eyes closed shut and all was mute. 

It was four years to their divorce now. Meera was getting ready for their son’s annual day. She wore her favourite plain purple saree with a long wooden neck piece. She applied a nice red coloured lipstick and finished her make up with only some pressed powder and kajal. She wanted to look good. She grabbed her car keys when her mobile rang. She picked up the phone. A weird pain ran through her chest, she couldn’t breathe, she wanted to cry but all her feelings were stuck in that one breath. She hung up the phone. 

The night of their fight years before was their last conversation.

It was the most silent night. He had confessed his mistake. Both were sitting on the far ends of their L-shaped sofa. Each could hear the other one trying to control their tears. The ceiling fan made the only noise in the room. Meera was hurt, angry, annoyed, confused, she didn’t know where to start, what to express. He too was scared, guilty, didn’t know what to say. Unable to think of anything else Meera gave in her decision, she said silently, “I don’t think we could be together anymore.” He could see her devastated, trying to be strong. He cried, he said “I am sorry, I promise it was a mistake, I love you,” he meant it. Meera couldn’t hold in any longer, she yelled at him, let out all her anger, until it was all gone and she couldn’t yell no more. She cried and cried for hours after that, wanting to be held by him, the way he did every time she cried. But she knew she couldn’t wish for it anymore as she had decided not to forgive him and with it, never to express what she really felt about him. She only knew he had made a mistake, he had ruined everything.

But today, after four years, Meera felt differently. He had proved his love for years now but Meera was stuck on what she had decided that night. She knew even today she wore their favourite colour to the annual day function just because he will see her. And now, she wasn’t able to forgive herself to let all these years slip by, not expressing, when she knew that she did, again, believe in him. She realised that often when a person is alive the mistake is bigger than the person himself. It is the realisation that we could never see or feel the person again, we no more take their existence for granted. And now that he was gone she knew the mistake didn’t define him, it was no longer bigger than his existence, it wasn’t bigger than her anger, her ego. She could’ve saved their crash. She could’ve told him she loved him too. 

Meera couldn’t stop crying, praying that for the last time he should come back and hug her as he did, she knew this time she would hug him back really tight. She picked up her phone. Sad, desperate, she typed a msg, ‘I love you too, I never stopped loving you, please come back.’ Teary eyed she pressed send, knowing there won’t be a reply yet hoping for one... 

His phone buzzed in the operation theatre while the doctors shook hands as the patient was now out of danger.